Be Your Own Best Friend and Prosper
Although your whole life you have been brought up being told not to be ‘lonely’ and that being ‘lonely’ was a bad thing, I am just about to turn that theory right on its head, just you watch! There is no denying the fact that the person that you spend the most time with on earth is yourself. It’s for this reason that it is absolutely vital that you need to enjoy your own company and enjoy being by yourself. This may be hard at times and you may think that some of the points that I am about to discuss are easy but in reality, they are anything but easy. These are some key points when it comes to enjoying your own company and ultimately, being your own friend.
You Are Worthy – Whenever we come across a situation that we find hard or maybe even make a mistake, we put it down to us being a ‘failure’. We put our thoughts, beliefs and opinions on a pedestal and then everything we do is an attempt to reach those heights which ultimately leads to negativity if it doesn’t turn out that way. We have to create our own self-worth and self-esteem to pull ourselves to new heights.
Praise Yourself – This is an important part of enjoying your company because in many walks of life, whether it is personal or career, we tend to wait for people to tell us that we have done well. Sometimes, when this doesn’t come, it can get you down as you think that nobody has recognised the effort you have put it. It’s for this reason that we have to praise ourselves when we do something well and worth noting. No matter how small or how big, if you have achieved something that you feel deserves praise, dwell on it and enjoy the experience. Make sure you properly congratulate yourself before moving on to the next target.
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Accept Yourself – I have one question to ask you with this topic in mind; ‘would you verbally criticise your closest friends?’ Of course, the answer is no so why do we do it to ourselves? We have a natural instinct to bring ourselves down and as it goes, we tend to be really good at it. However, you have to remember that if it is something that you would never say to a friend, it isn’t something you should be saying to yourself. Instead, accept your downfalls as you do with the people around you. If you choose to accept yourself as you come, including both strengths and weaknesses, you are more likely to overcome and negativities that come into your life rather than dwelling on them and letting them affect you.
Get To Know The Real You – This follows the same principle from the previous point in that you wouldn’t judge someone before getting to know them so it is something that you also shouldn’t do to yourself. We tend to form opinions of ourselves based on external factors such as other people, trends as well as our circumstances. In order to enjoy spending time on your own, you need to get to know exactly what it is that you like and dislike, what drives you on to succeed as well as what your biggest strengths and weaknesses are. You may not be exactly as you think at the moment so spend some time getting to know yourself so you can properly enjoy your own company.
Laugh – As we have said before, you shouldn’t say things that will cause negativity in a joking way but you should try to laugh to take yourself less seriously. When this happens, you will be more open and have a more positive outlook on a number of factors in your life. Use a good natured tone and laugh, just as your friends would at the strange things that you say and do.
Find Time For You – If you don’t like spending time by yourself and are constantly looking for someone to spend time with, you will never be able to become your best friend. Just as you need to find time for your friends, you also need to find time for yourself to get away from the busy world and develop a relationship with you.
Have Fun – I want you to think right now of five things that you would say are ‘fun’ or things that you enjoy doing. I can be fairly certain when saying that at least four but most likely all five are things that you do with friends or family. As a life coach, it is something that I see fairly often and it is sad that we have forgotten about ourselves and that we can have fun by ourselves. Try to think of something that you would enjoy by yourself and give it a go next time you get the chance. You never know, it could end up being a new hobby; the least it will do is strengthen the relationship that you have with yourself.
Treat Yourself – Whether it is a nice relaxing soak in the bath or a viewing of your favourite film, try to treat yourself as often as you can. If you take time out to do something you enjoy, you are showing both love and respect. If you can, try to do something once a day, it can be as small as having a tasty smoothie.
Let Your Body Talk – The next time you have a feeling, find out what the cause is rather than dismissing it straight away. We live in a society where we don’t find ourselves as important as we should; if you feel tired, your body is telling you that you need more sleep, if you are fatigued, stop drinking a whole host of energy drinks and junk food and start consuming the necessary nutrients. If you feel aches and pains on a regular basis, take that as a hint that your body isn’t happy and instead of brushing it under the carpet, go to a doctor and find out the cause; this can actually end up saving a lot of time and discomfort further down the line. By doing this, you are showing yourself respect just as you would to a best friend.
Be Aware Of How You Work – This is vital when it comes to getting to know yourself and how you operate. You need to know how you work and what different feelings mean. You need to start to understand why you do the things you do in order to understand how you work. I’m sure you can point out one trait that your best friend has and what it means that they are thinking and feeling so you should try to do the same with yourself.
Support And Comfort – We have already learned that there will be tough times ahead and there will be obstacles to overcome which means that it is important to know how to support as well as comfort yourself during these hard times. It is very easy to indulge in addictions such as food or sex when we are feeling frustrated and depressed but you need to find out how to feel comforted without falling back to these addictions. As soon as you find something that will help you to grow, you are ready to use this in order to achieve your goals.
So ultimately, it is absolutely vital that you love yourself and you become your own best friend. In this exercise, I want you to set aside one evening every single week that will be spent on you and only you. If you have a busy social life, try to leave one night free where you can really get to know yourself. You need to find out what you like, what you dislike amongst other factors. Really try to let yourself go during these evenings and show to yourself that you don’t need anyone else to have fun!